Aren't Homophobes Cute?

Whenever the so-called debate over gay marriage comes up, I think of an encounter I had at the NYC Pride Parade several years ago.

"You do have the right to get married," this person with a sign insisted, "to the woman of your choice." (Dontcha love that one?)

I replied: "OK, I choose your sister. You down with that?"

"…Well, no."

"Yeah, why not?" Off his hesitation: "Because I'm gay, right?"

He blushes, starts to laugh--I join him.

Aren't homophobes cute? OK, maybe not.

What they are is full of shit.

So: a reality-check for those involved in this debate on both sides. This is not about whether to allow gay marriage, or to ban it. Just arguing it in those terms is handing opponents a major semantic victory.

Why? Because gay marriage is already here!

Gay couples go to their house of worship, stand before their clergyperson, and, in full view of their community, take vows identical to those taken by their heterosexual counterparts, whereupon they are pronounced wed.

And there's not a damn thing the government can do to stop it.

All they can do is shirk their Fourteenth Amendment obligation to recognize these marriages.

And that's what this is about: equal rights & equal protection under the law for all citizens.

Opposite sex marriages have it—same sex marriages do not. It's that simple.

This is usually the part where a well-meaning idiot pops in to say “good people can agree to disagree on this issue.”

Which, naturally, is a big, ol’ steaming pile of horse shit.

If you think my marriage—not that I have one, but I hope to, one day—is inferior to yours, fine. That’s your right. No one is asking you to change your loathsome little mind about that.

But if you think your prejudice should be codified into the laws that govern us all, then you are, by definition, a bad person. (Not to mention: you hate America.)

BTW, anyone who is so concerned about “defending marriage" would do well to focus more on the fact that over half of all marriages end in divorce and less on the attempt to exclude gays from a social institution to which we have already gained entry long-since.

Of course, this isn't about "defending marriage" anymore than the recent immigration brouhaha was about "defending English." Both are (rather pathetic, desperate) attempts by panicked Congressional Republicans to pander to the bigots in their Big Tent (aka, The Southern Strategy).

What's heartening this time is that even the bigots aren't buying it anymore.

They remember that the very first thing Bush did after reelection was to reverse his position on the Constitutional ban, calling it "not necessary." This, after making it one of the cornerstones of his campaign. The homophobes watched, horrified, as the whole issue proceeded to vanish from their party's legislative agenda on November 8, 2004.

As it will again on November 8th, 2006.

Only difference is, this time, they know it. This is so gonna backfire on those legislative gay bashing little terds. 5 months and 1 day til The Midterms. I'll make popcorn.