Thursday, May 22, 2008

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Review

SPOILERS

One of my friends left in disgust about 15 minutes in. Can't say I blame her. The opening sequence positively SUCKED -- The brief glimpse of the Ark couldn't begin to salvage it.

I can't quite wrap my brain around where all the love is coming from -- both here and in the plentiful good reviews. I have to disagree with Rov's assessment, too -- The biggest spliff in the world would not have made this movie watchable, though maybe that explains why Harrison Ford seemed drugged throughout, especially in the first act.

Cate Blanchett and her henchmen were entirely unmenacing, and her accent was slip sliding all over the place--I'm surprised at her!

The FBI guys were far more effective heavies in their brief minutes on camera, and Indy coming up against the Red Scare raised the tantalizing possibility that the movie would go in an entirely different direction with regard to the baddies... which of course never materialized.

Poor Karen Allen was entirely unnecessary and there was simply NO spark between her and Harrison Ford. It just wasn't there, in the chemistry OR (to be fair) in the script. The wedding scene at the end was tacked on.

I did think Shia LaBouef was terrific -- though the whole, cloying "go back to school" theme was incredibly irritating (albeit not unexpected).

Once they escape from the Reds, it's one mad rush to the end, and the various set pieces (the jungle chase, the killer ants, the waterfalls, and finally, the hidden city) were fairly diverting, though really nothing special, especially by comparison to the previous films.

A while back, my buddy Zack posted the following to the Ex Isle message board:
Please no aliens, please no aliens, please no aliens.


SOL on that one, I'm afraid. My other friend (the one who *didn't* walk out) said I looked "devastated" when the flying saucer appeared.

I'm sure I did. Shoe-horning Indiana Jones into B sci-fi movie genre conventions of the 50s was just ill-conceived. They should not have made this movie. UGH.

3 Comments:

Blogger Chas. said...

The end of your review made me cry. ALIENS!?!?!?!!?

So they did fuck it up.

5/23/08, 8:38 AM  
Blogger Rob R. said...

You are the 2nd person to tell me this.

Ugh....Fucking aliens. How come the brown people civilizations (ie. Egyptians & S.Americans) always have aliens involved.

So in other words save my money this weekend then. *sigh*

5/23/08, 7:11 PM  
Blogger Scott said...

What bothers me even more than the presence of the aliens is Lucas, and a huge number of his apologists, dismissing this crticism as illegitimate. "It's all the same!" Well, um, NO it's NOT all the same. I hate that kind of "if you liked that, you'll LOVE this" bullshit.

You can't come in in the fourth movie of the series and change all the rules.

Zack, who I mentioned in the post, likens it to saying, "in Terminator 4, we're gonna have John Connor fight vampires and werewolves. What? You bought him fighting killer robots from the future in the first three. What's the problem?"

The problem is you're insulting my fucking intelligence, asshole!

5/27/08, 12:16 PM  

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